Day 28: A picture of something you’re afraid of.

Death

I'm not afraid of how I die, but the what happens after when I'm six feet underground (actually I preferred to be cremated than buried, but it's a figure of speech)

Will anyone come to my funeral? Will there even be a funeral? Will anyone miss me? What would the world be without me?

These are questions that I ask myself almost everyday.

It's like you've been living on this Earth for so long that sometimes you wonder what would other people's life be without you in it. When you minus yourself from the equation, will it still be balanced? 

As a Catholic, I believe in life after death, honestly I'm looking forward for my next life with the Lord but I'm just wondering about the lives of people here on Earth, how much would my absence effect them. 

Sorry about the disturbing picture of the "Angel of Death", it was the only one without the scary faces. 

Picture credits:

Angel of Death

Then your tummy flips..

There was a time when I thought that I would always walk alone on this journey.
I started becoming used to the idea that I've overlooked all the other possibilities.
Friends and family will always be the beautiful flowers that grow at the side of my life's pathway, always there to give me a reason to take a step forward.
Never thought I would end up sharing that pathway with somebody.

Then it happened. 

It totally caught me off guard, like an unexpected turn that appears suddenly on your life journey and you take that turn anyways because deep down you know it's the right thing to do now.

Being only 16, everybody will say there's still so much in store for me. I know that, but I'd rather seize the moment and love every second of it, with him. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

Honestly, I am happy to share this pathway with that footsteps. They might gradually fade away or they might stay with me till the end, but why care about the future when the present is so wonderful?

I might be confusing you with all this but I'm just somebody who does not like to go straight to the point with certain things. :) If you get it, you get it.

20 reasons why I don't have a boyfriend

Let's just say I'm bored and decided to post this for the sake of all randomness in this world :)

20 REASONS:

1) I'm very indecisive about where to go, what to eat and unfortunately, what to buy.
2) I'm a messy eater
3) When I cook, I normally cook for myself only.
4) I have acne
5) I have flabby arms
6) I can never dress as pretty as other girls are.
7) I get jealous easily (but I don't show it, normally I just bottle it up inside)
8) I take my time in replying texts (if you're a "fast" texter, it might feel like forever x100 for me to   reply you)
9) I really like to be alone, most of the times.
10) I am considered "one of the boys" in class.
11) I assume things too fast
12) I love football but sometimes I fall asleep watching matches.
13) I love to eat. A lot. 
14) I am a slob at home and in school.
15) I talk too loud sometimes.
16) My dad's a politician
17) I'm allergic to chocolates
18) I don't wear make-up (unless there's a big occasion, i.e. weddings)
19) I have the world's ugliest thighs
20) I'm madly in love with a British diver :)

Some of these reasons might sound ridiculous, but I guess that's why it has driven guys away for so long.

3rd Championships tomorrow!! Hopefully with 2 weeks of absence of training, I still have some game in me. :)

Day 27: A picture of yourself and a family member.

Dina Cyla 

She has been my big sister that I never had. 

She is the only cousin around my age that I see on a regular basis. Well, I used to, until she left for College this May. 

I miss her terribly. 

I'm not sure how we ended up being so close. We just clicked I guess. 

She was the one who brought me closer to Christ, through Lifeteen. She taught me the wonders of watching CSI and she introduced me to the wonderful world of Little Black Dress, the chic novels :)

She's a natural artist and amazing at braids. She has the patience and the kindness to tolerate with my ridiculousness at times. 

I love her to death and I can't imagine how my life would turn out if it wasn't for her. 

She brought me out of my childhood and taught me to grow up. 

She doesn't know that, but I hope she reads this and see how much she means to me. :)

I love you bebeh *lessthan3*

Day 26: A picture of something that means a lot to you.

My Fencing Medals

These are my pride and joy :) It's not really the medals that means a lot to me, is the effort I've put in and the sacrifices I've made to earn them. 

I used to be someone who thought that she could do anything in the world, then I became this girl who lost all her confidence. Through fencing, I've slowly gained that confidence and it increased when I won my first medal in 2008, it was just a Fencer's Competition but still, first competition and a silver medal. Not bad for a first-timer ;) 

Then I got chosen to represent my state for last year's Malaysian Games (SUKMA). I have been wanting a spot at the state team for so long and I was elated to get chosen. I had to miss my confirmation for the Games but it was worth it cause I came back with a bronze medal (the one in the middle) for the team event,my only event cause my seniors joined the individuals. 

This year was a memorable year for me too. Nationals Junior (U-21) and Cadet (U-17) happened this August and I brought home a medal, but for the Junior category which was unexpected as I was hoping I could win in the Cadet but lost instead in the quarter-finals. 

Between those I've joined several local competitions and did fairly well. No gold yet, but it's coming! :) 

Winning these medals just prove everybody who never believed in me wrong. I can excel in something. I'm not a fat ass. I can certainly do sports. 

I do thank my friends and family who have been the pillar of my strength, for believing in me :)

I also want to thank those who've doubted me or underestimated me, maybe you still do, but thank you, for giving me the motivation to exceed your expectations :) 

I'm still trying my best to be the best :) 

Standing at the crossroads

You know how they always say, "Dreams can come true" and when you see other people's dreams coming true, suddenly, you have this hope in your heart that someday yours will too.
Then you start to dream ambitious and actually work hard to achieve it.

Then one day, your parents ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It wasn't a random question you ask a 5 year old anymore, it has become the deciding question.
10 years ago, I would've answered "A Baker."
5 years ago, I would've said "A writer."
3 months ago, I would've told you with my utmost confidence "A physiologist/sports psychologist."
Today, I have no idea.

I'm standing at a crossroad at going for my dreams or going for my parents' pride for me.
They say "You can achieve anything as long as you follow your dreams."
Then you realise, you can only achieve your dreams only after you've completed the path set out by your parents.

So my dad wants me to follow in his footsteps and my 3 other cousin's into taking a Law Degree. He told me all about the advantages of having a degree in Law and how I can be a leader of the country, something like that. When I told him that I really want to take up sports science and psychology, he said that courses like that are too wide of a field.

He suggests that I take Law as my main and something else as my complimentary. I do think it's a fair idea but I just don't think if I'm up for political analysis and stuffs. Hmmm..

What should I do? Please my parents instead of living my dream? Why can't I do both?

Anyways, I still have a year at least to go before I actually have to make the final decision.
Quoting my mum when I told her I can't wait to graduate,

"Take one day at a time"

It's the finals once again

It's that time of the year again.. final final exams. *children booing*
This time last year I was freaking out about PMR and UEC and by this time next year, I'm pretty sure I'll be freaking out about SPM.
So I guess this will be my final 2nd-Term finals.

Oh. This finals stands 40% of the 55% of my final average, so I guess I really have to double my efforts after failing Bio and AdMaths for mid-terms.*awwhhhhhh*

That's swell. I'm still procrastinating thanks to VSauce and their interesting videos.
Seriously, they have the weirdest facts and images. Random too. Now who doesn't like videos with a random girl holding a lighter to the end of the butt and farting? Oh the randomness.

Just lavishing my desire to type things out 'cause typing on a keyboard is fun. :)

typetypetypetypetypetype

now the word "type" looks weird to you right?? Haha.

Day 25: A picture of your favorite day

5th July 2012

Day trip to London :)

It was a sunny Thursday afternoon. There were two double decked buses parked outside the Porter's Lodge in St. Catherine's College, Oxford. One hour later, the buses carrying over 150 international students were driving by the Thames River,with the Big Ben and the Parliament on the other side, and heading into the city center of London. 

I have plenty of favourite days but I went with this because it was just too surreal for me. In less than 4 hours, at the Covent Garden, I've had an eye full of amazing street performers, London street life and delicious English pastries, I also saw a Kate Middleton look-alike, ha, close enough I guess. I even went into a "Build-A-Bear" store, though I didn't make one :(  Then, had a "pre-theatre" dinner which was actually an 8-inch peperoni pizza called "The American" and watched a West End Musical (Shrek: The Musical). I mean it's not everyday I get to experience this right?

I guess what made it more memorable is the company I had (the lovely girls in the picture above) and the wonderful wonderful weather. It didn't rain a single drop that day, unlike the other days I was in the UK :)