Most AS students would normally fill their summer before the A2 year with activities that might help them with their personal statements like work experience, or catching up on that "recommended" reading list.
I planned to do that, too. However, things never go as planned.
The freedom I thought I would have when I reached home is all but a reality.
Coming back after being abroad for 6 months altered my perception of my home ground. The mindset of the people and the culture here is totally different than what I experienced back in the UK. I cannot necessarily say which culture is the better one as both have their flaws too. As I was alone overseas, the only type of people that I spend time with are my friends. Here, I had to choose between family and friends.
Being Asian (strong family ties etc), I was brought up to always put family first. Most of the times I chose to go with the idea, but then there are times when I wanted to contradict this concept. Unfortunately, to pay the price for sticking with my own blood, I had to stand at the sidelines *Snapchats* to watch my friends enjoy themselves.
Old people like to say that all these "having fun" is not worth it and that I should do more productive things. I just think that they are being unfair as they had the chance to "have fun" while I don't. Thing is, where I am from, in 3 months time, most of my high school friends would be overseas. Everyone will not be in the same place. I have a few who are already overseas and the few days that they were back, I couldn't even meet up with them because I had to "stay at home".
Is this how it's like to grow up, having to choose between what you have to do and what you want to do?
As the elder one in the family, I am expected to be the better example for my younger siblings. I tried to do my best to show them that there are times when family should come first. However, seems like the few times I choose not to do so, I am immediately pointed out for contradicting myself, but then they are allowed to do things this 18 year old couldn't do.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't have come home.
Going into my first month of summer, I learned to stand up for myself and not be too reserved. I learned to accept the fact that friends can have fun with other friends and that I can too. I learned (the hard way) that by not saying what you want to say, you would end up regretting it for a very long time. Finally, I learned that not getting your way is the first step of learning how to get your way.
I wished the UCAS would accept this but in reality, I do still need work experience to get into the good universities! Commence job hunting.
