You know what sucks?

Wanting to go where ever you want but you can't because you have not gotten your license yet.

But you know what sucks even more?

Wanting to go where ever you want but still can't even though you already have your license.

From the previous post, you would know that I was excited about finally getting my driver's license. I expected that I would be able to drive to school, the state library and to training on a daily basis. In reality however, I got my license card 2 weeks late and my dad only allow me to drive around the housing area with supervision. Like driving around houses would let me get a taste of how actual driving is.. bitch please.

Maybe you'll say, "Hey, at least he lets you drive.." and think that I'm being over-dramatic about this but what if you hear your own brother saying this:

"Hey, maybe soon I'll see you on the obituary page" *laughs*

and my dad still defending him (after I scolded him for being insensible) saying that I should be forgiving and caring because I am a follower of Christ and that I shouldn't take what he said into heart.

What's the point of paying RM1,500 for my driving lessons and exams only to not let me drive in the end? And what's the point of passing the exam and still getting laughed at for being a terrible driver when you haven't even seen me drive?!

Even my tutor said I am steady enough to drive and still my brother has to make fun of my driving as if he knows how I drive. He couldn't even tell the difference between forty thousand and four thousand and he is TWELVE. What's even worse is having my parents backing him up and saying I always remember the negative parts of life and not the positive part.

Honestly, I just want him to shut the fuck up and think before he speaks because when he enters high school while shit still flowing through his mouth, he would have a bad time.

Still, my dad will forever stand by his side because my little brother is an angel to him and probably seemed like the only child among the siblings who would want to follow in his footsteps in becoming a lawyer and hopefully a politician.

Biased family is biased.

Shouldn't even be online now, but since I deleted my Twitter app, this seemed like the only place for me to rant. Having a history test tomorrow, probably should start studying. 

Sigh, I can never win an argument with my dad. 

Till whenever I see you. xx

"P"

Finally, after more than 6 months of driving a manual car, renewing my "L", and endless scoldings from my tutor when I let go of the clutch too early/slow. I finally got my driver's license.

To be honest, I was afraid I was going to fail cause my driving is very inconsistent (mainly because of the clutch), but praise the Lord and my guardian angel, I managed to avoid all bumps, metaphorically.

I was kind of expecting a "congratulations on your license" car waiting for me when I got home but like always, life isn't predictable. Instead my dad said that I shouldn't hit the road until after SPM. Well luckily for the countdown I know it is less than 3 months. Oh well.

I'm kind of proud of myself I managed to pass on the first try because a lot of people kind of doubted my ability to drive as my feet can't reach the pedals unless the seat is drawn to the maximum front, and I had to look over the dashboard cause I'm just too short, but screw them. I can drive now.

So to all you guys out there reading, don't let what other people say stop you from getting what you deserve. Look at me, I'm barely 5 feet and although it took me longer than usual, I can finally drive now.

Till next time :)

Being with another.

For the past few years, I've always wanted to know how it actually feels like to be in love, or at least, to be in a relationship. This curiosity probably came from reading chic novels and watching romantic movies and also seeing my friends get themselves into a relationship.
Social network played their part too, with Instagram and Twitter constantly filled with "monthsary" posts or tweets about hanging out with "le boyfie", I just kind of wanted to feel how is it like to be in love with someone, and for that someone to love me back.

I was blessed enough to find someone great last year. Words can never describe how grateful I was for him. For once, my life was smooth sailing.

That was what I thought.

After a few months of being in an amazing relationship, thinking everything is perfect and will always be, that's when the road became bumpy. I told myself things can never go smoothly forever and that I would have to go through the bumps. Trust me, there were times when I really felt like throwing in the towel and call it quits, but then I realised that I would only be running away from something amazing. Something that is worth staying for.

So I kept fighting for it.

To be really honest, I do not know what I am doing. I'm not sure if I should do it, or to not do it. Will he like it or will he just brush it away? I am at a complete lost.

I had to keep reminding myself that there is no "guidelines" or "instructions" for these kind of things and I have to just go with what my heart (and my mind) tells me to. I just want to impress him so badly, I want him to be proud of me.

Being in a relationship has proven to be one of the most challenging things for me. My emotions are all over the place, one second I want to hit him in the face, another second I want to hug him tightly. Don't get me wrong, he is one of the greatest guys I have ever known and a fun guy to be around with. But then, not everyone is perfect. As it has been said countless of times. "Don't find the perfect man, find the man, perfect for you."

It is still too soon to find Mr. Right anyways, but then, maybe I have already met him. Who knows? I'm only 17.
But currently, I do enjoy being in a relationship with him, even if it means messing up my emotions. :)

To those of you who are still in a relationship, I wish you all the blessings and happiness. And to those who are still searching, don't fret, the best one comes unexpectedly.

Till next time. xx