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I've been so obsessed of having this "like the movies" kind of relationship where feeling happy and loved every single day was expected. I got way over my head thinking those kind of relationship really do exist.

I started picking on small little things that weren't supposed to be part of a "loving" relationship and made those little things seemed like a big problem. I started worrying and becoming a little bit too emotional about it.

I forgot about my principles. I forgot that I promised myself that I won't be that type of girl when it comes to relationship, the type that expects too much from a guy, the "Overly Attached Girlfriend" type. I got too caught up with the idea of a perfect relationship that I wanted my current relationship to be exactly like the idea of a "perfect" relationship that was implanted in my head through chic novels and romantic movies.

It took a hard blow to the head to finally clear my mind. I realized how selfish I have become and that I also lost a part of me in the process. It ached to know that it was too late to undo the damage but I am blessed to have someone who is patient enough to let me fix it.

It's amazing how much I learned from a simple (some said it to be complicated) human interaction.

A guy who calls himself "Master of Love" once said to me:

"Relationships for our age aren't meant to be taken very seriously.. You get into a relationship to know that at the end of any day, someone will always be there to make you feel better."

Some people may interpret it by their own ways, but to me, it made me remember of my promise to myself.

Being with another.

For the past few years, I've always wanted to know how it actually feels like to be in love, or at least, to be in a relationship. This curiosity probably came from reading chic novels and watching romantic movies and also seeing my friends get themselves into a relationship.
Social network played their part too, with Instagram and Twitter constantly filled with "monthsary" posts or tweets about hanging out with "le boyfie", I just kind of wanted to feel how is it like to be in love with someone, and for that someone to love me back.

I was blessed enough to find someone great last year. Words can never describe how grateful I was for him. For once, my life was smooth sailing.

That was what I thought.

After a few months of being in an amazing relationship, thinking everything is perfect and will always be, that's when the road became bumpy. I told myself things can never go smoothly forever and that I would have to go through the bumps. Trust me, there were times when I really felt like throwing in the towel and call it quits, but then I realised that I would only be running away from something amazing. Something that is worth staying for.

So I kept fighting for it.

To be really honest, I do not know what I am doing. I'm not sure if I should do it, or to not do it. Will he like it or will he just brush it away? I am at a complete lost.

I had to keep reminding myself that there is no "guidelines" or "instructions" for these kind of things and I have to just go with what my heart (and my mind) tells me to. I just want to impress him so badly, I want him to be proud of me.

Being in a relationship has proven to be one of the most challenging things for me. My emotions are all over the place, one second I want to hit him in the face, another second I want to hug him tightly. Don't get me wrong, he is one of the greatest guys I have ever known and a fun guy to be around with. But then, not everyone is perfect. As it has been said countless of times. "Don't find the perfect man, find the man, perfect for you."

It is still too soon to find Mr. Right anyways, but then, maybe I have already met him. Who knows? I'm only 17.
But currently, I do enjoy being in a relationship with him, even if it means messing up my emotions. :)

To those of you who are still in a relationship, I wish you all the blessings and happiness. And to those who are still searching, don't fret, the best one comes unexpectedly.

Till next time. xx