Misunderstood

He is just so confusing. He says it's okay but it never will be. 

Awkward "Hi"s and smiles are just there to show that it will never be the same. 

I fell for you. You and your silliness. 

I smile weirdly at myself thinking about your "OMG" moments. 

Well, since you're my "best friend" now, there's nothing I will do to change that. :) 

Day 19: A picture and a letter.

Dear you who quoted John Mayer,

Although this phrase is a bit disturbing, but I hoped your intentions wasn't so. It was fun getting to know you through virtual messaging and I can't stop smiling everytime I talk to you face to face.
You just have this aura of coolness and I have to admit, you are one funny guy.
Thanks for letting me fall for you, even though I know things between us will never work out.
If you are reading this, I want you to know that when I heard about the accident, and found out you were in that car, honestly, I nearly fainted. Then you told me, "I'm alright, just a few cuts here and there."
Sorry if I didn't give you a big bear hug immediately, but I just couldn't help but stare and praising the Lord for letting you live for another day.
I hope we do get to talk more often. You're just a really sweet guy.

I hope you haven't forgotten,

Bandung. ;)

When he didn't say no,

and when he didn't say yes either.

I'm left here alone to wonder, does he or does he not?
It's been too long and I'm starting to get a little bit annoyed. No, very much annoyed.
I mean, how can he bear with the thought that he left this poor little girl hanging, waiting for him?
That's just wrong. Unstable emotions is what happens, to me.

Been telling myself to forget about it and carry on with life, but there will always be this moment when I ask myself, "How can I?"

This is not something I can just delete and refresh.

Best Friends?

Being best friends with you is the best I can hope for.
When I heard what you told me the other night, about that girl, honestly, I'm not going to be that jealous type that doesn't let other girls have feelings for her man, besides, you're not my man to begin with anyways.

I'll be lying if I said I won't cry. How can I not cry? What happened between us was too much to just be thrown away, for me. Just to keep things clear, it's okay with me if you well, have feelings for her. I mean, we're just "best friends" right? It's okay if we're in the friend zone, better than being strangers, again. *wongfumoment*

This was the moment I was afraid that would happen, me letting go of you, once and for all. I know once the feelings start to fade away, they will never come back. I don't want that to happen. I do hope you know this.

p/s: I never stopped liking you. oh, and nice eyes :)

YOU,

make my nights shorter than my days,
You, make little things matter so much,
You, make me laugh.


You, should've said goodbye
You, should've let me cry,
but no, You, have to be right there,
making me feel like a total ass.


OH well, I guess that's that.
Things gotta move on someday.
and You know what?
You can join in if you want,
suddenly, I don't mind. :) 

Allergies.

For the first 13 years of my life, I have been allergy-free. I could eat anything edible and have itch-free skin. I was stuffing myself with all kinds of food I could get my hands on. Then, suddenly 2 years ago, I started getting rashes after eating don'tknowwhat and since then, I've been aware of what I'm putting into my mouth.

Why am I talking about my allergies?
Not sure.
Maybe because I might be allergic to someone to. Like you, LIAR.
Ever since our paths crossed, I've been getting itchy and rashes all over my body. Yes, my heart is reacting to my feelings towards you.
Ugh, I still could not get over the things that you told my friends. Who knows what bullocks have you been telling your friends. I AM SO MAD AT YOU NOW.
and to think that you were a nice guy, pfft!

Please, never say that the lies just "slipped through your mouth" or whatever shiz, because I know you've been planning every single bit down to the simple text messages to make me look like an over obsessed girl, for you. What were you trying to prove man? Trying to prove to your "guys" that finally, someone is that desperate for you? PUHLEASE. I didn't even need your number, I was okay with just being strangers, I'd rather that we become strangers than the position that we're in right now.

But then to be frank, I really don't want to be over the top furious about this thing, because it's not worth it. I just want to know why, and sadly, I don't have the guts to ask you. Chicken guts, I know.
And I'm not going to waste these words, about a guy.