A distraction: a short story

Let this be a distraction to all the news, to all the 'self-improvement' achievements on social media, to all the covidiocy.

Here's a story for you:

A girl sits on the edge of her seat as the bus drew closer to her stop. She reached out, pressed the bell and the bus came to an immediate halt right next to the bus stop, throwing her off her seat. It was a late weekday evening in a small town, she was the only one in the bus.

'Sorry,' she mumbled to the bus driver as she got off. 'Thanks,' she tried to say as the bus driver closed the doors behind her and sped away. Possibly it's the end of his shift, she thought. Perhaps he is rushing home to have dinner with his family. How nice. 

A cold breeze snapped her back into reality before she falls into a pity party in her brain. She remembered why she was out. The warm lights from the restaurant was the only source of light and life in an otherwise dead part of a sleepy town. She walked towards it, took a deep breath and pushed through the doors of this 6-table bistro.

There he is, just as he said he would be. A weight came off her shoulder that she was not aware she was carrying, but for the longest time, she felt relieved. The restaurant had a few patrons but he managed to get the table by the fireside. Just like when we first met.

He looked up as she entered the room, stood up from his seat, opened his arms and gave her the biggest smile. I've missed that smile. Suddenly, she felt a tinge of sadness but she stopped herself before she could feel any further.

'It's been awhile,' he said as he bear-hugged her. 'Yes.. it has,' she said between breaths as she recovers from the physical contact that knocked the winds out of her.

'So, any drinks? Starters?' he asked as he skims the single-sheet two paged menu.

'Actually, Mark, can we just have water for now?' she quickly interject as the waiter/owner/manager approaches the table. 'Just some tap water for now please,' she turned to the multi-role person with a pen and a pad before Mark could interject.

'Everything okay? You never say no to drinks and starters when we're here,' he asked as a concerned look grows on his face.

'Look Mark, I think, we need to stop whatever we are doing. We've been doing this for months and...' I just can't anymore. 

'But I love you Kira. I thought you love me too,' he said as he tried to hold her clenched fists on the table.

'No, you don't. You love the idea of having someone to care for, you love the idea of being attached to someone and you love the idea of having someone to call when you want to talk. But you, don't love me.' she said as calm as composed as she could. No, tearducts, don't ruin this for me.'

'How else am I supposed to love you then when the only way to express it is through our phone calls?' he said as he matched her calmness.
But in reality, Mark could hardly believe the conversation he was having. He thought tonight was going to be the beginning of something that could last. After all this while, the distance, the pain, the dilemmas, he finally decided to choose her. He reached into the pocket of his bomber jacket and squeezed the box.

'It's not what you did but how you did it, Mark,' shit, it's getting too cliche and cringy now. 'I am always the first to call, the first to plan things. The past few months, you've never once made plans to come visit me. You keep saying that I put way more effort into this than you, but you never stepped up. You knew the effort one puts in to make it work but you don't act on it. Tell me if that's love to you.' She looked at him straight in the eye, she wanted to pick up any signs of hesitation, admission and guilt. However, after all this while, to her, he was still like a brick wall, harder to read than her prison patients.

'You're right, that's not love to you. But that's love to me. I let you call because I know you plan your days to make time to talk to me, I let you plan our getaways because I know you'll include surprises for me and I just love seeing your face light up when I like it. I couldn't come visit you because I know your family will hunt me down when they know I was there with you.'

But now is different, Mark. My family, they are all in the past now.

'I know things are different now and I admit that I did not put in the effort. But I want to, I want to make the effort now.'

This caught her by surprise, she was looking at the face of a man who she once thought the world of, now begging for her to give him a chance. But I have to keep my cool, this must end today, or else I might just kill myself to get rid of the pain. 

'No, Mark. You can't put in the effort now, it really is too late. I'm sorry but I can't go on with this any longer.' She knew she has said enough and stood up to leave. The waiter-owner came over with the menu and she quickly interjected, 'I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be ordering.' As she left for the doors, part of her wished he shouted for her, hugged her and begged her to not leave, again.

But he never did. All the times she has had this conversation with him, he never did.

As she pushed through the doors, the resisted the urge to look back and walked confidently to the bus stop. A relief, I did it. I am free now.

The waiter-owner looked out of his small bistro's window and sighed. 'It's been a month now,' he said to himself. He picked up the one glass of water and wiped the table.

'Is she okay?' asked a patron who has been observing her since she walked in 15 minutes ago.

'Well, past few weeks she only stared into space for 5 minutes then leave sobbing. But today, she did not shed a single tear. I think she is okay now,' the owner replied, almost to himself as he wipes down the empty table by the fireside that has only served one for 30 days.

Maybe I won't have to come back tomorrow. 

She smiled to herself and waved down the bus.

-----

Well that was quite a fun story to write! Mark & 'the girl' is actually a very complicated love story that I have had in my head for quite a while. I wrote about how they met here and since then, their story has only existed in my brain and a few scribblings on napkins. Thought I'd share how they ended things (or did they? Is Mark still alive?)

Hope you all enjoyed reading this! It was a fun distraction for me whilst I prepare for the most intensive two weeks of my life (work-wise).

Hope you are all staying safe (BY STAYING HOME - looking at you, joggers). Let's just flatten the damn curve so I can go out and pretend to be an extrovert.

Till then,
Liza x